


drowning

by Zethixpi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zethixpi/pseuds/Zethixpi
Summary: "hey, have you ever feel like drowning?"
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	drowning

I know I wasn't deaf when I heard him say 'I love you' to me. God, I was blessed far from thought. Clueless, we waltzed into the land called love. We'd dance to pop songs, not to the classic Mozart. He'd say Mozart would be jealous of having me as his lover because I admittedly say that I was a fan of Mozart. Nonetheless, I had all my eyes on him, my lover.

My lover.

My happiness.

Three years ago in our apartment, he'd surprise me with sunflowers on my birthday. A box of chocolates. And a serenade. I'd laugh to his awful version of Closer. I couldn't stand the thought of having him to wake up to every morning. A blessing.

Usually the next day, he'd bring me to the beach even though I told him I couldn't swim. He'd teach me how to. He told me to believe in myself. And I did. The next thing I knew, we ate out in a restaurant which was far from our budget. All we had were french fries and dip. But we were happy enough to share. Like how he was never ignorant about how much love I needed. I love him. And his kindness.

We'd return home and got into the shower together. He'd play with my hair. He'd say sweet things before he closed me in with a kiss. I couldn't imagine anything more lovely than a kiss in the hot shower. Steam would cloud our glass door and block us off from the world and let us stay in the warm embrace.

He'd never stay out late. He'd never go to the club. He'd never do things that I'd hate. He'd come home from work and surprise me with a cute hug from the back and a kiss on the forehead. Who in the world thought that I'd get a guy like him?

My mother? No.

My father? No.

My twin? No.

That was why I believe in God. And his promise to connect me with someone I'd call my husband.

Two years ago, he was made redundant from his job. That was our lowest point in our life together. He'd still tell me that everything is going to be okay. I believed in him like I usually do. I obeyed him. So I didn't mind asking him at all.

Every week, he'd come home late. And every week turned into every day. He'd tell me he was with his friends. He'd tell me he was with his parents. He'd tell me he was helping his sister buy a car. He'd tell me to shut up.

We grew distant. Ever since he told me not to talk to him. But I kept my grit. And allowed myself to take the lead he used to take – being my support, teacher and lover.

A month ago, he returned to our apartment. We were on the brink of eviction. Our furniture were moved out into his family's home. He told me that—

"I am moving out." Sakusa said.

"Do you mean 'we'?" I asked.

"We can't stay together any longer." He said.

"I know you just lost your job but you still haven't lost me." I said to soothe him.

"You don't understand!" He yelled.

"I can understand, okay!" I yelled back. I never yelled back before in my life. "Don't think that I can't understand anything!"

He sighed deeply. He rubbed his temples. He said. "I told my mother I am moving back in but she told me not to bring you."

My heart dropped.

"What? You're making fun of me, right?" I asked.

"I thought you said you'd understand!" He yelled.

"But, we've been together for three years." I said. "Can't your mom understand that you're important to me?"

"My mom understands that she doesn't need you." He said. "She needs her old son back. And I can't live up to your expectations anymore."

My heart dropped the second time.

"We are through."

.

.

.

"Is it because I am a guy?" I asked.

He froze. I froze too. Our eyes met again for the last time.

"Goodbye, Atsumu." He said faintly.

He walked out the door like nothing ever happened.

So after all these years, was he just playing with me? His gifts, his smiles, his love were just trash? Our time spent together were just wasted time?

I couldn't feel my existence anymore. I felt myself falling into an endless pit. Drowning in his three years worth of lies. Three years is irredeemable when you spent with the wrong person.

But I thought he was the one. Well, even God can make his best servants suffer. What about him? Did he suffer? What about me? What should I do now? I can't understand what is happening.

What is this helpless feeling? What hole am I falling into? Help! But there is no help. I am alone. Drowning in depression.

All I could recall now was his sweet smile. The only memory that I could cherish.

I wonder if it is sweet anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> "hey, have you ever feel like drowning?"


End file.
